Public Transit Satirist Pillows

The Privatization of the MTA.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

The return of Miss Subways

Targeted Advertising

Lex Ave Express

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

'It's an app that tells me when metro will get its act together.'

Tortoise is snail taxi.

Fare Evader

Huge lady lady sitting down on a crowded bus

Oh, sorry, those were the unearthly screams of the eternally damned. I'll take it off speaker.

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

'Hi I'm on the train...still'

Replacement Bus Service

Bus Lane - Fire Lane - Pizza Lane

'I love the leg room.'

"Looks like the trains aren't running again."

'You don't actually believe you are going to catch a train?!'

Metrognome

Public Transport: Hell

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

'But you kept saying the rhythm was gonna get you.'

Hip skater sees commuters on skateboard.

The Jitney 'Cross The Styx

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen of the Hop and the Duke of Earl."

"Sorry mate, last train's gone."

We are being held momentarily to annoy Karen's girlfriend, who's been waiting at the restaurant for, like, twenty minutes.

"Sorry, we don't go to the middle, yet."

Autumn of Discontent

COVID Drive Safe Thank you for not carpooling.

"Why does the weirdo on the bus always have to sit next to me?"