Public Transit Joke Lover Pillows

Oh, sorry, those were the unearthly screams of the eternally damned. I'll take it off speaker.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Lex Ave Express

King Commute.

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

Fare Evader

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"I get here at 6 a.m. and leave by 3 so I can beat the swarm."

Huge lady lady sitting down on a crowded bus

'Hi I'm on the train...still'

'Hot enough for you?'

The Privatization of the MTA.

Replacement Bus Service

'I love the leg room.'

"Looks like the trains aren't running again."

Sleepy man dribbling on a woman on the London underground

Hip skater sees commuters on skateboard.

'You don't actually believe you are going to catch a train?!'

Metrognome

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen of the Hop and the Duke of Earl."

The Jitney 'Cross The Styx

'But you kept saying the rhythm was gonna get you.'

"Sorry mate, last train's gone."

'He's got to be an idiot.'

"Madame, I am disabled! Yesterday, I lost my smartphone."

'Would you please stop reading over my shoulder!'

Autumn of Discontent

"Sorry, we don't go to the middle, yet."

Jolly for Jones.

Bike Week

"This seat is reserved for the rest of my legs."