Public Transport Comedian Pillows

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

"Madame, I am disabled! Yesterday, I lost my smartphone."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

Honey I'm Home

Airbus

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

Metrocard error messages

Fare Evader

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

Listenin' in

'I'll fix you! But Good!'

'I was assured that this would be a double decker bus.'

Opera house to support

Covid-19: Mind the Gap

Man asleep on a bus while a child colours in his tattoos with crayons

The Privatization of the MTA.

'Road Construction Updates. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

'Hi I'm on the train...still'

Huge lady lady sitting down on a crowded bus

Replacement Bus Service

Next Train 45 Minutes - 'Now the government is back in charge I'll take it with a pinch of salt.'

'I see you everyday and never talk to you. But I'm making an effort to change for the better, so I won't be standing here tomorrow.'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

'Feeling a bit full my lot are packed in like commuters on the Northern line.'