Rich Skeptic Gifts

"More to life than money..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

With-it Woman

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

'Perhaps we would be better off with fewer fans on Facebook and Twitter, and more on Visa and Mastercard!'

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.