Ribbon Collecting Gifts

'To bring awareness of a very important issue and how much it means to me...What part of, I'm-wearing-a-ribbon-and-you're-not, don't you understand?'

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

Where Indian ink came from.

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"1-1"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

Portfolio, 2011

"Quick swig first?"

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

Red Wine

Wine tasting

Utility Chic.

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Employee of the month...

Nouveau wine

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

'This one is for not hinting in T.V. interviews that Burma's pacifists should be send WMPs.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."