Ribbon Collector Gifts

"It's my not-being-able-to-participate-due-to-a-scheduling-conflict ribbon!"

"I can't give you a raise, but I can give you this 'Also Participated' ribbon."

Best in Heat.

State Fair. Fun. You won a ribbon in the eating contest? What for? Honorable munchin'!

'Let's see, you've got remember political prisoners ... remember cancer sufferers ... remember victims of abuse ... remember to put the cat out ...'

'Gerald was a real surprise package, I'm still untying ribbons.'

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

"It's an apathy awareness ribbon."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

Wine of the Day Club

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

'Red for me, please.'

Wine

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

A Good Year.

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

Happy holidays from the IRS! To celebrate we've switched our usual red tape to red ribbon!

'It's her birthday!'

"Who knew we even had a month?"

"Yes, it is a beautiful ring, Derek. It looks just like the one from the big jewellery heist, last week."

"No, O'Toole. Our use of the rainbow has nothing to do with our sexual orientation."

" know a bargain when I see one!"

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

"I'm retiring the line 'water under the bridge'."

Cartoonists.

Presidential Medal of Freedom