Ribbon Collector Pillows

"It's my not-being-able-to-participate-due-to-a-scheduling-conflict ribbon!"

"I can't give you a raise, but I can give you this 'Also Participated' ribbon."

Best in Heat.

'Let's see, you've got remember political prisoners ... remember cancer sufferers ... remember victims of abuse ... remember to put the cat out ...'

'Gerald was a real surprise package, I'm still untying ribbons.'

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

"It's an apathy awareness ribbon."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Wine of the Day Club

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

Wine

'Red for me, please.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

Happy holidays from the IRS! To celebrate we've switched our usual red tape to red ribbon!

'It's her birthday!'

A Good Year.

"Who knew we even had a month?"

"Yes, it is a beautiful ring, Derek. It looks just like the one from the big jewellery heist, last week."

Cartoonists.

"I'm retiring the line 'water under the bridge'."

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

" know a bargain when I see one!"

Presidential Medal of Freedom

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

Most people don't know that tug-o-war got it's start in the late 1600s when, for a brief amount of time, rope was considered legal tender.