Ribbon Collectors Gifts

'I don't wear an awareness ribbon in order to bring awareness to the proliferation of awareness ribbons.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

'Teenagers!'

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

Best in Heat.

'It's her birthday!'

Happy holidays from the IRS! To celebrate we've switched our usual red tape to red ribbon!

"Who knew we even had a month?"

"I can't give you a raise, but I can give you this 'Also Participated' ribbon."

"Yes, it is a beautiful ring, Derek. It looks just like the one from the big jewellery heist, last week."

"No, O'Toole. Our use of the rainbow has nothing to do with our sexual orientation."

"Ask Mister Buck." Our wizard of finance answers your questions. "Mist Buck, what's a 'lump sum settlement'?" That's what you get from workers' comp if you get hit on the head at work.

Cartoonists.

State Fair. Fun. You won a ribbon in the eating contest? What for? Honorable munchin'!

Presidential Medal of Freedom

'Let's see, you've got remember political prisoners ... remember cancer sufferers ... remember victims of abuse ... remember to put the cat out ...'

'Gerald was a real surprise package, I'm still untying ribbons.'

'How many times have I asked you not to bring bread and honey into the counting house!'

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

Ribbon

Strategic metals vs. non-strategic metals.

What's your guess? "Venetian blondes."

"Does anyone else's robe say 'Hyatt'?"

'The jury foreman says they need more time to find the quarter they were flipping!'

Camel with Mountain-Like Humps

'You wanna finish with me, Dwayne? You mean you want your rings back?...'

"Can't believe they didn't have your size."