Review Renegade Pillows

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

"Maybe next time you should pay the bill BEFORE you tell them you're giving the place a lousy online review!"

"Well, I liked it until I read the reviews."

Queen of Upcycling!

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

Standard & Poors, you dirty dog! Don't pick at our AAA rating!'

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

Music Freak.

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Female Dominance.

Exams

'But this IS my mobile home!'

Solar Storm Expected!

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Complaints (just kidding).

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

Cluster Catastrophe

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

'Who called for a trouble shooter?'

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

TV tie-in book signpost.

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'