Rating Renegade Pillows

'I thought I'd hate hit because it only got a rating of 74, but then, luckily, I remembered I paid $249.00 for it.'

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

Standard & Poors, you dirty dog! Don't pick at our AAA rating!'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Give him his food."

Ready for a run!

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

Music Freak.

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Female Dominance.

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Exams

Complaints (just kidding).

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

Cluster Catastrophe

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

TV tie-in book signpost.