Report Card Renegade Pillows

"Gradegate!"

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

"OK, ready to go again?"

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

Ready for a run!

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

Music Freak.

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Female Dominance.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Complaints (just kidding).

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Solar Storm Expected!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"Yes, it's report card time again."

Cluster Catastrophe

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Follow our interest rates on Twitter.

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"Well, I liked it until I read the reviews."

"As an artist, it's my job to capture the beauty and triumphs of everyday life."