Retro Swimwear Collector Gifts

What bothers me is that my birthday suit now counts as vintage clothing.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Bring your own inflatable.

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

"Personally, I'd recommend something a little less formal for being run out of town."

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

It's a see through nightie...that magnifies!

"Gilbert! Here's Mamma!"

"It's not that you're too old for a thong, dear. It's just you've got it on backwards."

Mankini - One size fits all.

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

"Gavin - do you think we should have used clean socks?"

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

Phone Call

Retro Kid.

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

Wooly mammoth. Polyester Mammoth.

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Bathing suit.

"A game you can play alone or in a group, that tests your agility and is dirt cheap?!" "Marbles!"

I saw you at the beach yesterday in your new bikini!

MMM-MM, Cellulite

NFL Antitrust case...

'Where do you buy your clothes, Frodo?' 'Erm, Orcsfam, Gandalf. Orcsfam.'

The Shape of Progress.

He claims he brings them home to fix them, but they only end up all over the yard.

"In my day, we got bubblegum in our hair, not drones!"

Excess Baggage: Don't let the sight of a 20-something in the same swim suit as yours ruin your vacation.

Human 'A': Tried on 500 swimsuits for 'bonus curves'. . .

'What is so hurt inside of you, that you would want to be ironic about Tom Selleck?'

"Adult diapers in the hot tub. Not...good."

"There is a difference, and I won't wear one."

Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...