Retirement Realist Gifts

'How late do you expect to be working?'

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"As a Baby Boomer, I never thought the boom would be the sound of my retirement accounts collapsing."

"The government realises that there has been some confusion about retirement ages..."

"Between my IRA, small pension, and savings, I think when I retire, I'll only need two part time jobs to get by."

"Having looked at your forecast the best advice I can give you is to die a little earlier!"

"Something I never realized, all the years you were working, is that at three o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon you're a pain in the ass."

"The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes to your retirement plan..."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"So many are retiring - we're seeing if there's enough here."

'If my 401K gets any lower I'll end up owing someone money!'

"I've gone over your figures and come up with an achievable strategy for you. It involves a delayed retirement and an early death."

"I want a costume that will scare grownups. What does an underfunded retirement account look like?"

"I keep my savings under my mattress. It's the only way I'll ever be able to retire on my money."

"Based on the economy and your rate of savings, I've updated your retirement projections."

Lifestyles of the newly retired and pension less.

'Who needs a pension when you're old?'

Social Security Scratcher.

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Boomers and Bummer

"You'll be fine as long you opt for a late retirement and early death."

"He used to be a mover and shaker around here -- now he's just a shaker."

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

"So much for counting on a lottery ticket to capitalize the retirement fund."

"I just found out the amount of my monthly pension. They should rename this office the INHUMAN relations department!"

'Retirement was a learning experience for Byron. He learned he can't afford to retire, so he's back to work.'

RIP Retirement In Peace

Retired and rehired

"Brian's struggling coming to terms with his retirement."

'108 and dead...another few years and he'll be able to retire.'

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

'Goodbye darling have a great day at the office, but you do realise you retired yesterday,'

Retirement Issues