Retirement Visionary Gifts

Muriel decides it's never too early to plan for retirement.

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Waiting for retirement.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

401K

Best Places to Retire

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

Saving for Retirement.

If I could sell my experience for half of what it cost me I could retire.

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'