Retirement Dreamer Gifts

'Now, if we stick to our financial plan, I can retire at 55 and you at 87.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

'We have a wide range of Annuities'

'The best time to start to think about your retirement is before your boss does. It's never too soon to think about retirement planning.'

Retiring from the rat race

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

"It's from our tax consultant. We forgot to beef up our pension scheme, so now we're going to be extinct."

"Some days I think of retiring. But at my age, I'm not sure I'm up to it."

'My wife has increased the retirement age to 75...'

"You said we were going to age in place, and this is my place."

'Don't get me started about the poor...because of them I can't afford to retire.'

"I'm not sure my husband would be considered an 'active adult'."

At least their adviser was good at explaining things.

'If you want to prepare for you retirement, why don't you buy a bank like I did?'

The Future Home of Your Social Security Nest Egg.

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"I only provide financial advice. You're on your own to figure out how to survive being together all day every day."

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

It seems rather late to be taking out a retirement pension. I suggest you start doing the lottery instead.

"We need 80% of our pre-retirement income for retirement."

'We've got to get our clients to think of long term investments. By long term, I man until we retire.'

'The sleigh's at the Smithsonian, the reindeer are at the museum of natural history, and Santa is at a retirement community somewhere in Florida.'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Best Places to Retire

"He's been doing the number-crunching ever since he saw the budget forecast..."

'Remember back in the old days...when we were retired...'

'My long-range goal is 'downsized and out' - with pension and stock options - in 12 years.'

A locksmith selling keys for $1 Million a Piece says, 'I figure that if I can just sell one key, I can retire.'

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

'You live on a fixed income?'

"It's never too late to improve the deficit in your retirement savings - ever considered a life of crime?"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Ed becomes fully vested in his company's retirement plan.

Newspaper reads: Retirement age raised -