Retiree Dreamer Gifts

"Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in - unless they've moved to a one-bedroom condo in Boca Raton."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Waiting for retirement.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Finger on the Z Key

Best Places to Retire

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Saving for Retirement.

"Do you call this a business plan?"

If I could sell my experience for half of what it cost me I could retire.

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'