The Retirement Dreamer Gifts

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Waiting for retirement.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Best Places to Retire

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

Saving for Retirement.

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"Do you call this a business plan?"

If I could sell my experience for half of what it cost me I could retire.

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

I have a dream.