Early Retirement Dreamers Gifts

'I started school at age six and I'm done with it at age 16. I think that after spending 62,5% of my entire life at work I've got the right to retire.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

Waiting for retirement.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Best Places to Retire

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

I accepted an early retirement buy out and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

Saving for Retirement.

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

"Do you call this a business plan?"

'What do you mean retired? You're only four years old!'

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.