Early Retirement Dreamers Gifts

'I started school at age six and I'm done with it at age 16. I think that after spending 62,5% of my entire life at work I've got the right to retire.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

Waiting for retirement.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Best Places to Retire

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

I accepted an early retirement buy out and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Saving for Retirement.

"Do you call this a business plan?"

'What do you mean retired? You're only four years old!'

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"