Retire Early Hopeful Gifts

'I was a lawyer for a start-up tech company, taking my pay in stock, and after they went public, I retired at age 26!'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

Waiting for retirement.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Best Places to Retire

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

I accepted an early retirement buy out and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Saving for Retirement.

"Do you call this a business plan?"

'What do you mean retired? You're only four years old!'

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"