Early Retirement Gifts

'Oh, not much. Well, still dabbling a bit in commodities futures.'

'And this last chart illustrates why none of you are here anymore. Questions?'

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

'The fact that you've aged 10 years in the last 6 months isn't accelerated depreciation, it's accelerated decrepidation.'

"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."

'No golden parachute, but our severence package includes witness protection.'

'Early Retiree, endangered species'

'This 'tractor-thing' he's bought seems to do our work very well indeed: Early retirement for us Bob!'

I took the early retirement package.

'The action they're taking is early retirement.'

'Looks like they finally convinced him to take an early retirement.'

'It was an early-retirement offer I couldn't turn down. They threw a pile of money my way, asked me to disappear in a puff of smoke, and before they could change their minds, I was gone!'

Harold retired for health reasons, his company was sick of him."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'I took an early retirement - she took an early divorce.'

'Lucky you, you got out before they really downsized us.'

'I was bald by 30, invested the money saved on haircuts in the market, and retired at 50.'

'No, I wouldn't like to watch a sun set while we have a little hypothetical chat about early retirement.'

'When you said that we had enough in the bank to live on 'in the sun, without working, for a year', I anticipated the Bahamas, not Calcutta!'

"Wow! Some politician retires even though he is only 50 years old!"

'He's gone into semi-retirement.'

'Sorry, I have to let you go!'

Ah Jepson, I believe you're interested in taking early retirement?

'I'm not looking forward to retirement: I've been so busy all my life that I'm afraid I'll be bored to tears...'

RIP Retirement In Peace

"Have you thought about early retirement?"

"According to this aptitude test, the position you seem most suited for is retirement."

"The early retirement was surprising, but he reached his level of incompetance much sooner than expected."

I accepted an early retirement buy out and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

'Have you considered early retirement?'

'Doherty is leaning towards early retirement.'

'I was thinking early retirement, but they were thinking earlier retirement.'

'I haven't gone to lunch in eight years, so they're letting me retire one week early.'

SAS - Steadily approaching sixty

I believe you want to take early retirement, Jepson?