Near Retirement Gifts

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

"Good game."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Not that net!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Feel free to take notes."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Allotment

"Your contents have shifted."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Solitary 'Pleasure' Fisherman whose one desire is to get away from it all.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"