Retirement Radicals Gifts

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

Retirement Issues

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

"In recognition of your long service, we'd like you to have this clock you've had your eye on since you walked in here all those years ago."

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

Wolf Watching the Sunset

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

He was forced to take early retirement.

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

"Based on the economy and your rate of savings, I've updated your retirement projections."

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'