Retirement Parties Gifts

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'Congratulations on your retirement. You can have this back now.'

'Pension fund performance, please give generously.'

'We have a faith-based pension plan... You just have to pray it will still be there when you retire.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Hold the confetti, sir, he's not retiring, you're letting him go."

Clancy's Chow Palace was not a good choice for Emily Hargrave's retirement dinner.

'You can forget that wheel rubbish, I've just discovered early retirement!'

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'...we're putting you out to pasture because grass is so cheap.'

'Well Knuckles - All those years of faithful service and we never discussed retirement options!'

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Good game."

Children's Parties

Tourists

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cow Pinatas

Champagne

Cat Nip.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

World Tour.

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Cardiac Recovery.

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.