Retired Footballer Gifts

Football Crazy strip five

"You've still got it Joao."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Saving a Heart

'Best save I've ever seen.'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Kenny Dalglish

Egyptian Football

Football Crazy strip six

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Centaur Forward

'I think I've scored.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Champions league'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Wilfried Zaha

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Footballer and Bacteria.

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"