Retired Footballer Gifts

Football Crazy strip five

"You've still got it Joao."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Saving a Heart

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Football Crazy strip six

Centaur Forward

'I think I've scored.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Egyptian Football

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Wilfried Zaha

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

'Champions league'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Footballer and Bacteria.

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

David and Goliath.