Retired Coach Gifts

'Some men find better things to do with their time.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

Reach for the Star.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

The trauma of losing.

Go! Means NOW!

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Time Is Money

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Bears

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"