Retail Rumble Lover Gifts

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

The Brothers Grime

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

Pirates at the mall.

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

It's Whitney Houston....We have a problem!

Self-Checkout.

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Last Chance for Everything.

"Spaghetti Rave"

"I love the popping sounds on old vinyl LPs..."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Hey, Ernie, you're trying on costumes for the Halloween party! No, I'm finding clothes for my job at the store. I need to fit in the Christmas Decorations there. They've been up for weeks. It's too soon! I don't like decorations going up so early! Cupid's another way I could dress for work. The Valentine's Day decorations are going up right now!

'No thanks, just looking.'

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.