Retail Riddle Lover Gifts

'We're conducting a shopper-flow study for the new giant Oakdale mall.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"How was work?"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Myths and legends...

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Self-Checkout.

M16 Code-breakers office

Last Chance for Everything.

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"What works in the laboratory may not in real life."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

'All right already! I get it! The baby needs a diaper change and it's my turn!! Yeesh!'

'Caroline goes to her crossword compiling class on Thursdays.'

'No thanks, just looking.'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

"Who's next?"

Still dazed...Lester is confused as to which came first, the chickens or the eggs?

'Dang.'