Retail Comic Gifts

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

No - I do not have a loyalty card.

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Larry's used art

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

A women in a shoeshop.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

Hardy Annuals

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

How Amazon was invented

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

D.I.Y

Sale.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."