Retail Comic Gifts

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

No - I do not have a loyalty card.

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Larry's used art

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

A women in a shoeshop.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

How Amazon was invented

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

D.I.Y

Sale.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

"Where can I find the lefts?"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"