Resume Ranger Gifts

'Even as a two-for-one, we may not get the gig.'

Bitchbark Canoe

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

New Guy.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Even for a mountain goat he's good.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Danger Falling Leaves

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Malfunctioning geyser

That's actually the gorilla survival manoeuvre. . .

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"