Road Ranger Gifts

"You've already adopted seven highways, can you really handle eight?"

Bitchbark Canoe

Thru versus Through Traffic

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

New Guy.

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

The Fast Lane.

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

Even for a mountain goat he's good.

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'