Resume Wrangler Gifts

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

HR worker wading through CV's.

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

The good, the bad & the ugly.

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'Quick - tell me something about yourself not on your resume that will snap you into focus.'

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

"After reviewing your resume, I don't think you should be teaching English - I think you should be study English."

It was the harshest job interviews Peter had ever attended...

"My first impressions aren't good. Your resume just gave me a paper cut!"

Very interesting resume. Too bad it isn't yours.

InOut, Resumes in the bin.

'The secret of getting a good job that fits you perfectly is letting yourself in on what that really is!'

'There's no reason why you shouldn't get the job, unless, of course we get a second applicant.'

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'It appears that you've taken every precaution, so as not to become over qualified.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

Personnel Office. Very impressive resume, but of course we'll need to verify this experience you say you have.

"Impressive resume. But can you make coffee?"

"Open Resume!"

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"I forgot to say I was breast-fed."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Editor.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

Why you must go to work