Restless Sleeper Gifts

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

A bee keeper trying to sleep counts bees jumping over a fence.

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

Bed and Lunch: For People Who Like To Sleep In

'This is your sleep aid. Take two of these at bedtime and stuff them up your husband's nose. That should stop his snoring.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

“I get that the sounds help you sleep, but I don’t like the way he stares.”

Man using light to shield his eyes.

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

The Home Birth of Venus

Counting Sheep

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

'Honey, honey. You've got to stop walking and talking in your sleep!'

Dogs running in their dreams

'Myself, I'm not a morning person, so I'm definitely not interested in one of those up-at-the-crack-of-dawn types, you know what I mean?'

"No! I don't think these are adjustable beds. Why?"

"I have a problem with resisting arrest."

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

Burglar Alarm.

'Does anyone feel like I do?'

'Are you counting sheep again?'

Sleep-Eez Bedding

"He hums in his sleep."

Monk sleeping with wig on wigstand.

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

'Well, that's it - you can wake up now, it's time for bed!'

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

"You've got to be kidding. It's freaking noon!!"

Everyone's Asleep.