Restless Sleeper Gifts

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

A bee keeper trying to sleep counts bees jumping over a fence.

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

Bed and Lunch: For People Who Like To Sleep In

“I get that the sounds help you sleep, but I don’t like the way he stares.”

Man using light to shield his eyes.

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

The Home Birth of Venus

'Honey, honey. You've got to stop walking and talking in your sleep!'

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

Counting Sheep

'Myself, I'm not a morning person, so I'm definitely not interested in one of those up-at-the-crack-of-dawn types, you know what I mean?'

'Are you counting sheep again?'

"He hums in his sleep."

'Does anyone feel like I do?'

Sleep-Eez Bedding

Burglar Alarm.

Monk sleeping with wig on wigstand.

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

"I have a problem with resisting arrest."

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

Everyone's Asleep.

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

'Well, that's it - you can wake up now, it's time for bed!'

"You've got to be kidding. It's freaking noon!!"

'I thought you're going to put the coffee on.'