Restaurateur Gifts

Try our frogs' legs

"How's the burger?"

"We will always have Paris."

"I insist."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Bank 'n' Burger

"With any entrée, you get unlimited access to the trough."

"Who ordered a shot and a beer?"

"We're sort of open."

"If you're strict vegetarians, I recommend the catch-and-release of the day."

'Would you like a piece of advice, Mr Salmonella?' asks passer-by to gentleman opening a deli.

"Waiter, there's no fly in my soup!"

'Why missionary-themed!restaurants 'usually fail.'

"Smoking?or non smoking?"

'Good evening sir, I hope you haven't been waiting long.'

'Separate cheques?'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"Sorry about the delay, sir, but you shouldn't have to wait much longer - the manager is interviewing chefs as we speak."

Joes Vegetarian Restaurant, where the chef tucks into a steak

All you can eat buffet...speed limit: 750 calories per minute

'It's farm-to-table-to-farm dining.'

"...the soup of today is more or less yesterday's chef's special......"

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"Ambiance or non-ambiance section?"

"The Michelin stars are for the tires."

'A sandwich?'

Executive Tacos

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

"I don't know much about show business, but I do know we're selling more hamburgers."

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

Chef Only Uses the Freshest Ingredients

"So - we'll go for Bouillabaisse then, shall we?"

Under New Management Techniques

Roadkill Cafe...specials every day.

Tacosaurus Mex