Restauranteur At Heart Gifts

'We're retired. What do you recommend that doesn't require a lot of chewing?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Diner.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"This is our soft opening."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Advanced footsie

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

American style Greek cafe.

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."