Restauranteur At Heart Pillows

'We're retired. What do you recommend that doesn't require a lot of chewing?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

Diner.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"This is our soft opening."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

American style Greek cafe.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

The Best Little Steak House in the City.