Restauranteurs Pillows

Fish sees menu on the end of a fisherman's line.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'A cheeky red?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Diner.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.