Restaurateur Humor Pillows

"This wine is CORKED!"

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Diner.

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"This is our soft opening."

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

American style Greek cafe.

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

Thermidor Dali

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"