Restauranteurs T-Shirts

Fish sees menu on the end of a fisherman's line.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Your French dip, sir.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'A cheeky red?'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Diner.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'