Restaurateur At Heart T-Shirts

'Obnoxious. screaming kids,or non-obnoxious, screaming kids.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Your French dip, sir.'

Diner.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"This is our soft opening."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

The ecumenical dinner party.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

American style Greek cafe.

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Whatever he's eating.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

The Best Little Steak House in the City.