Restaurateur At Heart T-Shirts

'Obnoxious. screaming kids,or non-obnoxious, screaming kids.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Your French dip, sir.'

Diner.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"This is our soft opening."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

Advanced footsie

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

American style Greek cafe.

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

The ecumenical dinner party.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'