Restaurants T-Shirts

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Is the homework fresh?"

"Who ordered the Manhattan?"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"And don't try to pull the old 'good wine steward, bad wine steward' routine."

"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"

Restaurant - Free lunch!* *plus $29.95 service charge for shipping and handling.

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"Look, I'd like to help, but I've just got too much on my plate right now."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"Hello. My name is Maury, and I'm going to be your crazy person today."

"Waiter, I'd like to order, unless I've eaten, in which case bring me the check."

"Dial 911. And change that to a table for three."

"That will be perfect. We have a lot to talk about."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

A menu with risks and benefits

'I ordered an aperitif not a pair of teeth.'

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

Lunch at P.J. Puberty's

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

"I'll have the Catch of the Day."

"With any entrée, you get unlimited access to the trough."

"I'm your waiter and a vegetarian. Let's try to do this without anyone getting hurt"

Your Tip So Far

"Just so you guys know, in the event of an emergency I'm fully trained in P.R."

Non smoking section

"How's the squid?"

Ed's Restaurant - Closed. Get Over It

'I'm sorry sir, but your card was rejected...because it's ugly.'

"Your son's autism is still affecting his job, but we're learning to deal with some of his repetitive symptoms."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

'Please weight to be seated.'

'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'