Restaurant Scene T-Shirts

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

La Table

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Comedy Cafe

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'