Restaurant Scene T-Shirts

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

La Table

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Comedy Cafe

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'