Restaurants Gifts

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Is the homework fresh?"

"Who ordered the Manhattan?"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"And don't try to pull the old 'good wine steward, bad wine steward' routine."

"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"

Restaurant - Free lunch!* *plus $29.95 service charge for shipping and handling.

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"Look, I'd like to help, but I've just got too much on my plate right now."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"Hello. My name is Maury, and I'm going to be your crazy person today."

"Dial 911. And change that to a table for three."

"Waiter, I'd like to order, unless I've eaten, in which case bring me the check."

"That will be perfect. We have a lot to talk about."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'I ordered an aperitif not a pair of teeth.'

A menu with risks and benefits

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

"Just so you guys know, in the event of an emergency I'm fully trained in P.R."

Lunch at P.J. Puberty's

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

"With any entrée, you get unlimited access to the trough."

Ed's Restaurant - Closed. Get Over It

"I'm your waiter and a vegetarian. Let's try to do this without anyone getting hurt"

"I'll have the Catch of the Day."

"How's the squid?"

Non smoking section

Your Tip So Far

'We're sorry we served you caffeinated coffee. Please accept this sleeping pill with the compliments of the management.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Hommes.'

'Please weight to be seated.'

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."