Restaurateur In Training Pillows

'Waiter there's a bug in my salad.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Diner.

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"This is our soft opening."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

American style Greek cafe.

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Your pizza will be out in a few minutes. Tony's looking for a ladder to get it off the ceiling.'

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"