Restaurateurs Gifts

Restaurant being taken over by a Japanese conglomerate

Beef Stew.

"I regret that I have but one life to lose for some fat capitalist!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Diner.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Benihana style of cooking.