Restaurant Savant Gifts

As we discussed, I'm off in the afternoons this week. Hence the nice outfit. It's a handful of strategic meetings and mixers for investors of The Infant Restaurant Critic. Yell. Not Yelp, but Yell. Y'know, it's the website that publishes make-or-break restaurant reviews from a screaming infant. Mixer. You're the infant's mother? Cool. I prefer founding partner or seed investor.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Felix Mendelssohn

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Sir Edward Elgar

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Christopher Nolan caricature

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

Sandwich snob.

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

Anton Bruckner.

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

Fleapit rebranded as Cinema Parasito

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

Cattle barons for world domination.

Benjamin Britten