"Is a 'Five Turds' rating a good thing or a bad thing?"
Restaurant Rater Gifts
Looking for a gift for your restaurant rater friend or family member? Our collection features witty and charming items that celebrate their passion for evaluating eateries. Perfect for those who cherish every meal and love sharing their reviews. Whether it's a quirky mug for coffee breaks or a stylish print for their kitchen wall, our products are designed to delight food lovers and critics alike. Show them you understand their passion with a thoughtful, amusing gift that captures their culinary interest.
"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."
"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"
Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"
"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."
'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'
"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."
"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."
"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"
"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."
'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'
"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"
"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"
Fast food. Even faster food
Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'
'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'
Careful, the plate's probably still hot.
Today's special... donuts.
Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop
"War is hell and so is this soup."
'Er . . . and a fork for me...'
'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'
Try to guess the continent dining...
As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'
"Something romantic, perhaps?"
"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"
'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'
'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'
'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'
"How fresh is the calamari?"
"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."
Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!
Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.
"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"
"This is our soft opening."
Restaurant Rater Gifts Collection
Restaurant Rater Mugs
Discover our range of food-loving mugs—perfect for restaurant raters who enjoy a good cup with a side of humor.
Restaurant Rater Pillows
Find playful and stylish pillows that bring a smile to any kitchen or living space, celebrating their love of dining out.
Restaurant Rater Prints
Browse our artistic prints inspired by the food scene—ideal for decorating the home or restaurant review space.
Restaurant Rater T-Shirts
Explore our clever t-shirts designed for restaurant critics and food enthusiasts alike. Perfect for casual wear and sharing their passion.