Restaurant Designer Gifts

'I understand they're in the fast-food business.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Benihana style of cooking.

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.