Kitchen Designer Gifts

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

The X-Tractor.

The Little-Known Fridge Shark

Kitchen with a chip pan fire.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Salt and Pepper

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

The Perfect Foil

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Cook in the cookery section.

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

Cooking

'You made me jump.'

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

Entertainment systems