Kitchen Remodeler Gifts

Rep-Tiles.

Painting by the numbers for adults

Painting the Ceiling

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

'How are you doing on your side?'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"I thought this was a do it YOURself project."

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

Swiss Army Stove.