Kitchen Remodeler Gifts

Rep-Tiles.

Painting by the numbers for adults

Painting the Ceiling

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'How are you doing on your side?'

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

Swiss Army Stove.

"I thought this was a do it YOURself project."

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."