Kitchen Renovation Enthusiast Gifts

Please Help: I lost my fortune in a kitchen renovation project.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'I found the termites!'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Too much cilantro

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

A Day In The Kitchen

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

"Do you have an Isa?"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'